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- O n l i n e D a t i n g -
Jeanne
8 Mistakes People Make Using online personals does not seem to be a daunting task. This is why most people don't get any results out
of it Yeah right. You've tried it. Does not work! Want to know WHY? Here are top eight mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.
MISTAKE #1 "Giving it a try" Most people start using online personals with the attitude "Let me give it a try and see where it goes". They don't really think they WILL meet someone - they only HOPE to meet someone. What is the difference? When you "hope" to succeed, you don't try hard enough - if it works, great, if it does not work, fine, at least I've tried. When you think you "will" meet someone, and it does not work, you change something in your approach to get the results you want. BOTTOM LINE: Don't "give it a try" - do your best.
MISTAKE #2 Hoping "the right person will find you" Most people don't pay when post their profiles online, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer ads of other members. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if you are not, then you shouldn't hope your dream partner would email you out of blue. You will get much better results if pay for premium membership and write to people yourself. BOTTOM LINE: Contact other people; don't wait for them to contact you.
MISTAKE #3 Sending one-liners It's amazing how many people send letters of the type "Hi, liked your profile, please see my profile". If your photo does not impress the other person in an instant, most likely they will just delete your email. Some *might* actually read your profile - and if there is nothing in your profile that impresses them in an instant (hard to think what could it be :-), then they will also just delete your email. BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.
MISTAKE #4 Sending form letters I always know when I receive a form letter - always! I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references in the letter, I know this letter was not written specially for me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special! BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you contact.
MISTAKE #5 Writing boring letters Many people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear. The result: letters that are plain BORING. Remember: it is not about YOU - it is about THEM! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write to them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles - ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked "Tell you later" in her profile about kids - if she did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids and tell her you think she does and that you just love kiddies. A person who actually THINKS and what more - thinks ABOUT HER, it's indeed something special, and your letter is sure to get noticed. Don't talk much about yourself in your letter (she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements 100%, tell her why it won't be a problem. You pride yourself as having a great sense of humor? Back up your claim - make her laugh! >From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and she should not be able to stop reading until the end. BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters - the type of letters you would like to receive.
MISTAKE #6 Contacting dozens of members at once Once people pay for their premium membership, they tend to contact dozens of members at once. The reason for that is that they don't hope to receive much response. STOP for a minute: what are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested to start a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is only one person - but the one who is right for you. Do you really want to correspond with 20 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people. BOTTOM LINE: Don't contact dozens of people at once - concentrate on the ones you like the most.
MISTAKE #7 Not following up Let's face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people "Let's get together soon" and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important: if you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they are NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in you is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they are not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming they are not interested. BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical problems preventing your contact.
MISTAKE #8 Giving up You've tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up: "It just doesn't work for me". That's the biggest mistake of all. What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. (What? You don't have a photo in your profile?? Get one NOW) Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it goes. Might be you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for a partner as you would treat a search for a new job: if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Just don't give up!! BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is to gain experience. Practice makes perfect. Your special person is waiting for you! Reprinted from Zongoo.com
Am I Wierd If I Date Online? True story: A few years back I was working with a client who had recently moved to Los Angeles. She was single, did not know many people in the
big city, and felt a little lonely. I innocently suggested she give online dating a shot. It seemed like an easy and pressure-free way to meet people, and I had other
clients who enjoyed their experience and were in good relationships as a result. Reprinted from Zongoo.com Main 'Relationships Index Page'
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